no. the title doesn't really mean anything. it kinda fits but not in the way you'd think it would. especially considering i'm not christian. i guess i'll go on to the point of this update now. recently i've been having these really weird dreams. normally i don't pay any attention to them because they don't make any sense or don't have real people in them. these have been different. they all involve the same people. me, my parents and sisters, my boyfriend and his cousin and friends, and kelsi. what's weirder is in my dreams recently either i or my family have died or been near death. which would be terrible. but after that happens something that i would be happy about occurs, and i mean like i would be the happiest person in the world if someone hadn't died. i'm kinda worried that my dreams are some kind of warning of something that may happen in the future. but if it is a warning what is it trying to tell me? is it telling me that in order for me to get my i want most i have to lose something (or in this case someone) that i would never want to lose? or is it telling me that i AM going to lose someone but then i will finally be allowed to have what i want most? or is it a warning to give up the thing i want most before i lose someone because of it? you may not believe that they hold any merit but i did a tarot card reading just asking what i needed to know. the results weren't very helpful other than saying that i need to be more aware of my thoughts and dreams and to be careful to not visualize anything bad happening in my future else i will bring it around and if i do that i'll finally be happy. but is that telling me to try and find meaning in these dreams? or to put them out of my head so i don't accidentally make them come true by thinking about them too much? kelsi has also had some odd dreams that coincide with mine. this worries me. the chances that something like that happening being a mere coincidence are pretty low. especially considering i didn't talk about mine before she had hers. they happened consecutive nights when we weren't around each other. i had mine. she had hers the next night. then that following day i told her about mine and she then told me hers. someone is trying to tell me something. i just can't figure out what it is. if anyone has any ideas of what this all might mean please let me know. this is my longest update that i actually wrote all in one sitting in a long time | 